Eternal Perspective Part II

My friend Chuck will be happy to hear me remind everyone that "only the Sith deal in absolutes". I'll have to agree with Yoda on that one, & after I finished writing about how I felt about having an Eternal Perspective in my previous post...I'm going to take some of those words back...and I'll tell you why.

While I maintain that using the idea of an Eternal Perspective to call a people or congregation into submission is far from ideal; the idea works quite well when you apply it to yourself. How can that be possible? Before we dive in, check out the video so that we can start with the same knowledge:



See, the problem with this life is that it's hard...terribly hard. You will be tried, tested, brought to your knees...even the very breaking point when you want to give up. This is hard to take. It's hard to go to sleep at night without those you love. It's hard to sleep in your car, to work all night long, to give and give when it feels like you need to just get for once. All of us will go there at some point. In fact...we should hope that we do. See, we've been told clearly that we will not be tested beyond what we can bear. If you have not been brought to your knees...then it is possible that more work needs to be done. I suppose it's possible to make it through this existence without really being tested...but I doubt it.

We are better for the refiners fire. Bones once broken are stronger. Metal with proper welds applied is stronger. Knowledge tested repeatedly and used frequently is stronger. When rules are broken and we repent, our resolve to avoid future mistakes is...you guessed it...stronger. It is part of the process, and despite the pain we feel while we reside in the midst of the burning trial by fire...we will in fact be stronger for it. There was a talk recently given in which the speaker spoke of a young boy going through chemotherapy. The boy asked the doctor if he will be back to normal when the treatment is over. The doctor replied, I'm afraid not...you will be better than you were before. The same holds true for us as we are tried by life. I am reminded of the Lord's answer to Joseph Smith in D&C 122 when he pleaded with Him to end his suffering in Liberty Jail. The Lord responded in D&C 122:8 "The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?"

The answer, however difficult it is to utter, is no...we are not greater than He. But that is of great importance to Him, for we know from Moses 1:39 that "For behold, this is my work and my glory -- to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." That great God, for which we are no better...God's only goal is our immortality and eternal life. THIS, US, is what creates, grows, and IS God's glory. How do we connect the dots now?



When I child dies, the worst thing we could say to the parent is that it's all part of God's plan...absolute worst. But, to those parents, the only thing that may get them through the day is that they can be united with that child again one day through the sealing power of the Temple. When long hours at work separate husband from wife and children...it is important to remember that this will not always be the case. When the fire of affliction and trial burn hottest, it is comforting to know that the suffering does not last indefinitely. When a spouse dies and the future may be faced alone...there is comfort in knowing that the ability to be reunited is possible...all is not lost thanks again to the sealing power of the Temple.

When life is at it's darkest moments, having an eternal perspective is often the only way to make it through with a smile. Because things will be different after this life, it's possible to laugh when life kicks you. It's possible to smile instead of cry when the thought of a deceased loved one crosses our consciousness. My grand parents are gone and I didn't leave my Grandad on the best terms. This has haunted me for over a decade at this point. But I know that he has already forgiven my ill informed decision made at a young age. I know that one day, if I make good decisions going forward, he'll tell me he's proud of the man I've become. I know one day, maybe even soon, my Dad will leave this Earth and it will be up to me to take care of my Mom. I look forward to the day that I will be able to return and report to him that the task was executed to the greatest extent I possibly could. One day, I may have to face the loss of Rachel, Novan, Beya, Iyov, or Keshet...and it will hurt like hell...and the only thing that will get me through each day is the eternal perspective that they are far from lost to me. Death is simply the temporary separation of people who love each other.

Death is forever temporary. While Lucifer lorded death over our heads for centuries...he lost that battle at the point Christ was resurrected. And if we will but let ourselves see through the fleetingness of this life and have an eternal perspective...death will never haunt us again. For if your faith does not provide for the belief in an after life...consider a change. Who even cares if it's true? I sure don't. If someone managed to provide proof to me that everything I believed was false...I'd live it anyway.

Why do such an irrational thing? If you, like Job, lost everyone you loved by the end of next week. You tell me what thought will get you through the day: 1) You will never see them again or 2) You'll be reunited with them forever if you can follow some basic rules of governing self behavior. I don't know how you would choose...but I'll take that chance that my faith is in fact true. I have too much at stake to loose. I have an amazing wife, 4 beautiful children, 2 sets of parents, 4 sets of grandparents, 8 siblings. I either go through life thinking that these 40, 50, 60, maybe 70 or 80 years with them is it...or I believe that I can be with them forever.

I have lost Rachel's Dad and one set of Grandparents in this life. I miss them tremendously. But I refuse to give up the hope that I will see them again; AND that they participate in my life even now. Even if it's not true, I'd rather just believe that it is. It gives me hope. The death of my Grandfather has motivated decisions I've made since 1998. If I count up the accomplishments I've had since that fateful day...it's enough to write a book. I didn't do all those things for me, to achieve greatness, glory, or even popularity. I did them to right a wrong, to honor my father & mother, to support, love, and protect my spouse & children. If I die and it was all a lie...who cares...I'll be dead. But while I live in this life, if life chooses to keep trying to kick me, I'm going to kick back. I'm going to believe that things will get better. I'm going to believe that I'll get back the people I've lost. I will believe that wrongs will be righted and relationships will be restored. I'm going to believe that ultimately we will all return to our God that loves us. I'm going to believe all those things, not because someone told me to, or benefits from me if I do; but, because I BENEFIT because I believe those things.



I have an eternal perspective because it gives me hope and gets me through my day. So what if I give up on a few things because I've made covenants to avoid certain things. "Wickedness never was happiness." I hear all the gossip at work about all the things I could be doing if I chose to live that way...honestly...it doesn't seem any better than what I choose to spend my time on. When I stated before that what happens in this life matters right now, while we are still here. I meant it. And when life gets hard, that eternal perspective matters...and it matters right now.

It Must Matter Now

I am an existentialist, no doubt about it. What the heck is that you say? Well, for those of you who don't read Sartre, Nietzsche, or Dostoevsky (all examples of existential philosophers) , an existentialist is someone who believes that what we have right in front of us (life and its experiences) is what is ultimately real. It's not that existentialists don't believe there is life after this one (although atheists like Nietzsche and others may certainly hold that belief). The mark of an existentialist (as I see it) is that what matters right now, in this life, matters most.

The term "eternal perspective" doesn't sit well with me. When I hear it, I'm instantly reminded of Karl Marx's comments about how religion attempts to convince you that you will "eat pie in the sky when you die"...as a way to get people to look past their terrible circumstances they have in this life. For Marx, the belief in an afterlife that "religion preaches" was to lull a congregation or people into submission so that those with more power, money, or privilege could maintain their lifestyle on the backs of the poor working class. It's this type of action which prompted the communist political or social system which was created or imagined by Marx.

As a quick aside, I believe strongly that the system Marx envisioned has never been present on the earth due to the way in which communism has been implemented by those who were communists or fascists. The very system Marx envisioned to alleviate the suffering of the poor working class and to set everyone on equal footing was used to create the system seen in "Animal Farm" in which "some were more equal than others". The system of government used during the Nauvoo Period of early Mormonism is the closest I can imagine to what Marx was truly after with his system of government/society (although many Latter-day Saints will have a violent reaction to my comparison of the "Universal Order" or "Law of Consecration" with Communism).

So, now that we have a basic understanding of what existentialism is...why does it all matter? It matters because life matters right now. Living for the promise of something better after this life misses the mark. This life is terribly hard. Constantly "looking forward" to something better means that we will often miss what we have in front of us right now. I understand that for 80% of the people in the United States (maybe even more) life is quite simple if you have a job. Many people get caught up in the pattern of work, television, and sleep. That pattern of waking up, going to work, and then coming home to watch hours of television until we go back to bed gets lived by hundreds of millions of Americans daily.

It's usually not until something happens to disrupt this pattern that someone unplugs from the Matrix to take a look around. How often do parents look back on the years when their children were young and wonder where all those years went...too often. For months, I have worked between 12-20 hours a day as I lived & worked 1730 miles away from my wife and kids. There was little reason not to push myself daily to work all that I could. The money was needed and I had little else to do with my time that was worthwhile.

All that changed Thanksgiving Day when my family finally arrived in North Dakota to live with me. It's not that there will not be long hours worked in the days ahead. It's not that I wont long to be home when I am working. Until we are in a terrific shape financially, I'll continue to work long hours until all the bills are paid and we have college paid for at least a couple of our kids. Heck, we need to replace the retirement savings we spent all those years we barely made it each month. It will probably take years to pay off all the disasters that have happened to us in the last 3 years. It'll take years to replace the thousands that we spent of our retirement to keep afloat. One of the guys at work has been trying to get me to quit my night job ever since I moved to North Dakota. Every time he brought it up, I would tell him what I was getting paid each year for a measly 16 hours a week. He didn't do a very good job convincing me of the merits of having time to myself, getting a full nights sleep, etc. But, what he couldn't do in the 10 weeks or so he tried to get me to quit...was accomplished in about 30 seconds by my 4 year old daughter as she clutched my neck and wished me a good nap before I head off to work. When she told me she missed me & to have a good work...I couldn't help but stay up a few more minutes to hang out with her.

It's true that many of us...probably most of us have debt...and many of us will die with it. That was his argument for me to quit my job. He was concerned that the time I did get with my kids wouldn't be as good as it could be because I would be tired or in a bad mood. And, while I do a pretty good job keeping up my spirits despite the amount of sleep...very little in this world is worth those precious minutes and hours I might miss with my kids. So, while he might not have made the debate team, or win a case in court as a result of his persuasive skills...he was still right about what was a better use of my time.

Sure, I believe that families can be together forever. Heck, I even believe strongly that mine will be. But that doesn't mean my time with them right now, here, on this earth is less important. In fact, it's more important than those moments I'll have with them after this life. Imagine what life after this would be like if you didn't take the time to get to know your family while you can. I find it difficult to imagine that the loving bond parents and children or spouses have for each other would be that strong without spending time in this life to strengthen those ties. We have all heard about fathers or mothers who leave their young children when the weight of the responsibility is too much. When they try to come back into the lives of their children once they are adults...it's difficult, if not impossible to make up for all those lost years. Anger, regret, contempt are all held on to tightly when a parent leaves a child.

When this life is over and we all look back, together, on the choices we made in this life on what to spend our time...it will be difficult to look at each other in the eye when we see how the time we had was spent. You are inevitably making a decision to not spend time with spouse, children, family, and friends when you choose to undertake certain activities. Few if any will ever utter the words: "I wish I had worked more, beaten one more level, or gotten my WOW character one more level up when I was alive". I do fear, however, that too many of us will state strongly that we wish we had more time with those we love...especially when they leave this mortal plane and we are still in it.

There are many activities we will undertake that will require the sacrifice of our time. Those who are patriarchs must fulfill the duties owed to family for their safety and support. Many, too many, single mothers must be the only source of support for their families due to actions of others outside their control. Many of us will be called upon to serve others who do not have the resources we do, or to lighten a burden, or because we can. The time spent ensuring proper family finances and time spent in the service of others are worthwhile pursuits for all of us. But, we should be careful of the time spent alone playing video games, watching television, reading, or working. While these activities are not bad or evil...all of the activities can often be done alongside others. Imagine reading alongside a child or spouse and then talking about what was read. How much more can you get out of your reading when it is shared? Beating a level in a video game is a near worthless pursuit...but time spent between a father & son, or husband & wife will provide moments of laughter and fun when done in the right spirit. Working with others often means having to put aside ones own ego for the betterment of the team. It means learning how to work together, not always doing things your way, and teaches us patience (for those who are willing to learn the lesson).

So, when you decide what you are going to do with your time this weekend...consider who you will be doing it with, and for what reason. The moments we have each day are precious and we should be careful how we spend them. This life matters. When tragedy strikes, it is nearly impossible to see the benefit in the trials we face. It is hard, painful, and sometimes close to debilitating when we are hit by the struggles of life. It's tempting to turn our thoughts to the future, when we can imagine better days. And while it is comforting to know that life will not be terrible forever; we should take the opportunity to be reminded of the people we have in our lives that make it worth living. Allow the trials of life to remind us that parents, spouses, children, and friends are what make this life terrific...not the houses, cars, and gadgets we can purchase.

We have all heard that "he who dies with the most toys, still dies". That statement couldn't be more correct. While that doesn't mean we should "eat, drink, & be merry for tomorrow we die"; it does mean that we should strive to make this life count. Make the moments we have matter. Hug someone you care about and let others know what you think about them. Make the sacrifices you need to grow as a person and to achieve your goals. But remember that this life is about this life. Time must be spent here and now becoming better, growing. You may have heard the cliche "live every day like it is your last" over and over...maybe even too often. But it doesn't make it any less true. This life matters. It matters a lot. If you don't live it well, not only will you be miserable; but you probably don't have to worry too much about the next life.

They say when life throws you lemons, that you should make lemonade. It's hard. Sometimes when life throws you lemons, you feel like you just got hit in the head with lemons. Heck, sometimes you feel like Randy Johnson is throwing them at you (think Geico commercial where he knocks the guy over and dents the garage door a couple hundred feet off). Those moments hurt & we shouldn't pretend like they don't. Instead of your faith telling you that it'll be made whole in the next life, considering letting your faith tell you it will get better in this life. I'm not talking about revenge or justice. Little is gained when "justice" is achieved for heinous crimes committed against humanity. An "eye for an eye" simply makes two blind people instead of one. But, when forgiveness is granted to someone who "shouldn't" have it...something about the very human heart changes. When you stop to take a beggar to lunch instead of throwing them a dollar or pretending they are not there, something happens. When a person does what is necessary to get a job after they have been without...something changes. And it changes here, right now, in this life.

Sure, everything we do has "eternal consequences". But, for those who do the "right thing" because there is some great eternal reward waiting for them...they are missing the point of "choosing the right" and may find out that rewards like those are waiting for those who care more about their neighbor than themself. It's like proclaiming that you are humble...it doesn't work so well. Try helping someone else get an eternal reward. When you feel that your burden is heavy, try to find someone elses' burden which you can help make light. When you lose a friend or loved one, try becoming a friend or loved one to someone who needs one. We have been told that when we lose ourselves...we will actually find ourselves. So, when you have some time, lose yourself in the service or friendship of someone else...and do it now...while it still counts.