For many years, even in meetings like Gospel Doctrine and Elders Quorum, I have said out loud (sometimes quite emphatically) that the solution to why Blacks were denied the Priesthood is that Brigham Young was a racist.
It seems like a terrible, horrible, no good, and very bad thing to say about someone who is a "Prophet of the Lord"...but it keeps G_d very nice and clean, and puts all the blame for the "Priesthood Ban" on man (where I like to place most blame for the terrible things we do to each other). But, after I declare Brigham is a racist, I launch into my history lesson in which I point out that everyone in that time period (everyone is obviously used loosely, but a very high percentage to be less specific than "everyone") was racist. Heck, as an "American Culture" we bought, owned, and sold other human beings to and from each other. It's a despicable time period in human history that resulted in the Civil War (one of the bloodiest wars ever fought in North America). So, in reality, Brigham Young is a product of his time, and really no more racist than any other American of his time.
While there are certainly those who were "less" racist than Brigham, he wouldn't necessarily stand out as any "worse" for being a Racist than say George Washington or Abraham Lincoln, both of whom owned slaves (and are American "Heroes"). Yes, the "Lion of Zion" was merely as big a Bigot as everyone else who grew up and lived around.
This doesn't "excuse" his actions, but it certainly puts them in a lot more familiar right.
Something really awesome happened today, a new article on the official "Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints" website popped up addressing this very issue: Race and the Priesthood (PLEASE READ!). It has made official several fiercely held beliefs that I have:
1) There has never been, nor ever will be a "Church Policy" or even a "Doctrine" of Racism and any attempt to "legitimize" it is wrong: "Over time, Church leaders and members advanced many theories to explain the priesthood and temple restrictions. None of these explanations is accepted today as the official doctrine of the Church."
2) Joseph Smith had no such prejudices and did, in fact, ordain black elders (this is not just hearsay): "During the first two decades of the Church’s existence, a few black men were ordained to the priesthood. One of these men, Elijah Abel, also participated in temple ceremonies in Kirtland, Ohio, and was later baptized as proxy for deceased relatives in Nauvoo, Illinois. There is no evidence that any black men were denied the priesthood during Joseph Smith’s lifetime."
3) Perhaps best of all, the Church outright condemns racism in any or all of its forms past, present, and future: "Today, the Church disavows the theories advanced in the past that black skin is a sign of divine disfavor or curse, or that it reflects actions in a premortal life; that mixed-race marriages are a sin; or that blacks or people of any other race or ethnicity are inferior in any way to anyone else. Church leaders today unequivocally condemn all racism, past and present, in any form."
The Church stopped short of outright calling Brigham a racist, as I have done, outright in the article. No big deal, Doctrine & Covenants 58:26 says clearly: "26 For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is (a)compelled in all things, the same is a (b)slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward." So I have no idea drawing a couple lines between what I have believed for years, and what was put in print by the Church today.
Well, by now, you have to be thinking that this sounds a whole lot like a prideful victory lap for good ol' Brad at this point. If I stopped here, you'd be totally correct. Heck, if I stopped an hour ago, it might just have been that tomorrow at Church. BUT, let us go one step forward and examine the events in light of Peter "denying" the Christ 3 times.
Let's open our New Testament to Luke 22, where we read in verses 60-62:
60 And Peter said, Man, I know not what thou sayest. And immediately, while he yet spake, the cock crew.
61 And the (a)Lord turned, and looked upon Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.
62 And Peter went out, and wept bitterly.
Sure, it's easy to throw stones at Peter right. I mean, the guy denied the Son of G_d right in front of Him, after he was warned he would do so, and he vehemently disagreed with the Savior.
How about this? Peter is asked to deny his relationship to Jesus of Nazareth because he is to be the leader of the Church after the crucifixion. He argues with Jesus and tells him: "No way, bub! I'm not letting them take you without a fight!" Jesus insists that he MUST deny him, even 3 times, in order for them to believe it and for Peter to remain safe enough to continue leading the Church. Peter gets through the first two times without too much hardship...but the 3rd one hurt. The rooster crowed and it was too much. It went down just like Jesus said it was going to and now Peter knows He told the truth and the Savior of the world is going to be crucified and he couldn't die with him. He had to look like a backstabbing jerk to all the world, even though he loved Jesus with all his heart. In fact, it broke his heart and he ran away crying as they then blindfolded Jesus and beat him.
How hard that must have been for Peter, to pretend to not know who Jesus was. What he really wanted to do was to grab a sword and free Jesus. Instead, he was charged with the safety and well-being of the Church. He HAD to deny him or the Church would be destroyed.
Lets flip to 1952 when Brigham Young issued the "command" that no one who was of African descent can hold the Priesthood. What if he was "asked to do it" in order to ensure the survival of the Church? Brigham, one of Joseph Smith's best friends has to go against his Prophet/Friend and become the most famous racist in the LDS Church. Declaring it as he does saves Utah from being drawn into a Civil War in 1861 that led to the death of 600,000 Americans. The Civil War had divided the US almost up to modern times when as recently as the Civil Rights Movement didn't "conclude" it's work until 1968. This still hasn't ended widespread racism that has been a feature of "Southern Culture" into modern times.
It is conceivable that the "Church" as a whole wasn't ready to deal with racism in 1852 as the Saints had escaped Utah to avoid being eradicated by mobs and other hostiles back East. Governor Boggs had ordered Missouri Executive Order 44, also known as the Extermination Order, in 1838 in which he wished to kill every Saint in Missouri (the state he was Governor of). It's not far fetched to believe that the safety of the Church itself was threatened to the point that it didn't need a "Civil War" caliber problem to deal with while it was fighting for it's very survival.
So, rather than continue down the path Joseph started by ordaining Black Elders, Brigham "falls on the sword" and becomes the biggest racist in Church History, denying an entire race of people access to all G_d had recently revealed. Brigham himself stated that there would be a time they would have access to everything the rest of the membership enjoyed (ordination and temple ordinances).
So, for those who are totally uncomfortable with calling Brigham a flat out racist...it does seem interesting that the Church doesn't do so in the recent article. We will never be spoon fed everything we are to know or believe in this life. It's up to each of us to decide what we will do with things we learn, especially hard ones. For decades I've simply called Brigham a racist and moved on. How do you make congruent the stupid things he said regarding those who weren't white and the Priesthood Ban if he was simply "falling on the sword"? Who knows. Maybe he had to "make it believable" so that overturning the ban wasn't brought up repeatedly. It was nearly 10 years before the Civil War even started officially. That's a long time to dance around an issue that, for the safety of the Church's future, didn't have a good explanation.
It's nice for me to think, after all these years, that there might have been more to Brigham's ban than meets the eye. I don't have any definitive answers either way. Heck, I just thought about it. I now have to pray about it and work it out over the next few weeks.
What I will say is that I am excited to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. For a Church that doesn't change its doctrine, we sure have come a long way, even in the last 2 or 3 years! It's an exciting time to be LDS. With race and gender issues at the forefront of what is moving forward right now, it's wonderful to KNOW that the 12 Apostles who lead this Church are listening. They are listening to the LDS people. They are listening to answers from their prayers. They are listening. It's amazing and I can't wait to see how we we all be better next year than we were this year.
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Worst Priesthood Session Ever
I am a Mormon Feminist. I don't really like MoFem, and no one asked me to vote on what we should be called...so I'm afraid that one just doesn't work for me.
There are a few things I look forward to all year:
1) The Turkey Bowl - It's the one day a year I get to push, shove, hit, and tackle people and no one takes it personally. 3 or 4 years ago, I think I tackled Brooks Smith, who is one of my favorite people of all time, probably 5 or 6 times in a "2 hand touch" Turkey Bowl football game...my favorite one of all time. I can't even remember who won...just how many tackles I made. :-)
2) Christmas - We do not do Birthdays in my family. Growing, it was SUCH a big deal. Every time I didn't remember my Mom's Birthday, it's like I didn't love her. I'm happy to say we are over that now. Needless to say, we don't do much beyond let our kids pick their meal & desert for the day and take them on a Walmart shopping spree...that's it folks. No fanfare or parties. But if we are going to celebrate someone's birthday...JESUS IS IT! Plus, can you believe they moved His Birthday to my favorite season of the year!!! It's usually snowing around Christmas (winter is my FAVORITE season of the year) and the white makes everything look clean & pure. I love to give people things and blame it on Jesus. I love how everyone seems to be happier and friendlier at Christmas. I LOVE IT!
3) Priesthood Session - I played sports growing up...mostly football (well really mostly basketball, but football is my favorite since you get to hit people and no one thinks anything of it (see #1 above)), and I really love the pregame atmosphere. There is a lot of hitting and yelling. People get fired up. Pregame speeches and all that rah rah stuff. Twice a year, men gather in the LDS Church to get semi-publicly berated in front of each other over being a lame husband, a lackluster home teacher, and a college dropout (at least compared to the number of degrees women are getting these days in higher education). It's good for us. Guys react a certain way when they are told "you suck". It's a motivator. You kind of say: "Well I'll show you what kind of man I am." It's like good machismo stuff where we "Cowboy Up" and resolve to actually do a better job being a husband, father, employer, employee, student, etc.
I was SO fired up today when I heard Carole M. Stephens talk today, right off the bat she said: "Each of us is a son or daughter of Heavenly Parents." YES! Right off the bat, 1st session, talking about having a Heavenly Mother. I mean, lets all face it folks, G_d is really a married couple and not just the "dude" 1/2. Heavenly Father refers to the male/father 1/2 and Heavenly Mother obviously makes up the female/mother 1/2. TOGETHER, they are "G_d". I dig it.
She quoted Wilford Woodruff when he said: "Every Man or Woman who has ever entered in to the Church of G_d, being baptized for the remission of sins, has a right to revelation." Preach it SISTER! I can see where you are headed and I like it!
"The Holy Ghost is not restricted to men, nor Apostles and Prophets. It belongs to every faithful, man, and woman, and child..." say more, say more!
"We need to receive the Temple Endowment." You are ALMOST THERE (I screamed at my iPhone as I listed while I drove!
She quoted M. Russel Ballard said: "When men and women go to the Temple, they are endowed with the same power. This, by definition, is Priesthood Power. The endowment is literally a gift of power." THAT'S IT!!! That's what I have been waiting for!
We have been telling Beya for weeks now that while she sees men officiating in the Priesthood outside of the Temple, BOTH genders officiate in the Priesthood inside the Temple. We have been working to teach all the kids the difference between the Priesthood Power, which is used by both Genders everywhere, and the officiating of the Priesthood, which is largely conducted by men outside of the Temple (and both Genders inside the Temple). I refused to give up on the idea that women don't hold the Priesthood. If they didn't, there would be no way for them to conduct the ordinances in the Temple (initiatories) and to pass along the sacred information in the Temple during the Endowment if they didn't possess the necessary Priesthood to officiate in the ordinance. Sister Stephens confirmed, out loud, in General Conference, that men AND women are BOTH endowed with the SAME Priesthood Power in the Endowment.
I was thrilled with General Conference today, thinking that it is amazing how "current" and "relevant" the topics are. It is clear the General Authorities are aware and listening to what people are struggling with in the Church, especially Gender Issues.
But, Saturday night Priesthood was the WORST Priesthood Session I have ever watched. It was flat, boring, didn't contain a rallying call (OK, there was a "Do your hometeaching" talk...but it wasn't the same. It left me severely lacking. Then, I found out that a large number of women got in line tonight for the Session to watch from the Conference Center. After 200 years, they broadcast Priesthood live via BYU TV and online at LDS.ORG and the SAME DAY, right after the Church made it available for anyone to watch, live, there are women who want to go that night.
I'm sorry, I am a feminist, I REALLY AM (just ask my wife). But having women at "Priesthood Meeting" is like watching a sex scene with your wife AND Mom there...really hard to enjoy. And maybe women are saying they totally agree and I shouldn't be watching that period and that's the problem with Priesthood. It's like giving birth to a Child and having your neighbor from 5 doors down that you don't know pop by just to see what it looks like down there because they haven't had kids yet. It's not that having people at these times is bad or good. But, for certain events, like Marriages, Funerals, Graduation, etc...there is always an "intended" audience for the event. Having the guy who failed and will be back next year for 12th grade again...it's uncomfortable for everyone.
If you are speaking in "Priesthood Session", do you talk to both Genders because they are both watching? Well then, what's the point of having a separate Relief Society Session and Priesthood. I LIKE that we each get talked to from "our leaders" on gender specific issues. I think it's helpful! I WANT to be a better husband, and I want to hear how to do it from a good husband. Same with someone who's a successful business person who wants to tell me how to be good at my job. Same with home teaching, being a father, etc.
Heck, it'd be nice to have someone in the Relief Society Presidency or Primary Presidency, or Young Woman's Presidency come to Priesthood to tell me how to be a good husband, father, or Dad to a teenage daughter. PLEASE COME AND TELL ME!!!
But having just one more session of general conference with everyone there...it ruins it. It's not the same. It may be tradition, but it's helpful to get gender and role specific instruction. It's available for everyone to watch online...heck, most of the men will probably watch it online now. But why do women have to BE there? I don't see what is gained? I don't see why "crashing the party" moves the cause of equality forward. Please help. I'm sad. I'm bummed. Priesthood sucked and I could have used a good "pep talk" tonight. Maybe we should rebrand it and call it something else. It's been Priesthood and Relief Society for over 100 years...it can change, no problem.
But I do find a lot of value into "splitting up" for the 3rd hour. I think both genders need it and I hope we keep it.
There are a few things I look forward to all year:
1) The Turkey Bowl - It's the one day a year I get to push, shove, hit, and tackle people and no one takes it personally. 3 or 4 years ago, I think I tackled Brooks Smith, who is one of my favorite people of all time, probably 5 or 6 times in a "2 hand touch" Turkey Bowl football game...my favorite one of all time. I can't even remember who won...just how many tackles I made. :-)
2) Christmas - We do not do Birthdays in my family. Growing, it was SUCH a big deal. Every time I didn't remember my Mom's Birthday, it's like I didn't love her. I'm happy to say we are over that now. Needless to say, we don't do much beyond let our kids pick their meal & desert for the day and take them on a Walmart shopping spree...that's it folks. No fanfare or parties. But if we are going to celebrate someone's birthday...JESUS IS IT! Plus, can you believe they moved His Birthday to my favorite season of the year!!! It's usually snowing around Christmas (winter is my FAVORITE season of the year) and the white makes everything look clean & pure. I love to give people things and blame it on Jesus. I love how everyone seems to be happier and friendlier at Christmas. I LOVE IT!
3) Priesthood Session - I played sports growing up...mostly football (well really mostly basketball, but football is my favorite since you get to hit people and no one thinks anything of it (see #1 above)), and I really love the pregame atmosphere. There is a lot of hitting and yelling. People get fired up. Pregame speeches and all that rah rah stuff. Twice a year, men gather in the LDS Church to get semi-publicly berated in front of each other over being a lame husband, a lackluster home teacher, and a college dropout (at least compared to the number of degrees women are getting these days in higher education). It's good for us. Guys react a certain way when they are told "you suck". It's a motivator. You kind of say: "Well I'll show you what kind of man I am." It's like good machismo stuff where we "Cowboy Up" and resolve to actually do a better job being a husband, father, employer, employee, student, etc.
I was SO fired up today when I heard Carole M. Stephens talk today, right off the bat she said: "Each of us is a son or daughter of Heavenly Parents." YES! Right off the bat, 1st session, talking about having a Heavenly Mother. I mean, lets all face it folks, G_d is really a married couple and not just the "dude" 1/2. Heavenly Father refers to the male/father 1/2 and Heavenly Mother obviously makes up the female/mother 1/2. TOGETHER, they are "G_d". I dig it.
She quoted Wilford Woodruff when he said: "Every Man or Woman who has ever entered in to the Church of G_d, being baptized for the remission of sins, has a right to revelation." Preach it SISTER! I can see where you are headed and I like it!
"The Holy Ghost is not restricted to men, nor Apostles and Prophets. It belongs to every faithful, man, and woman, and child..." say more, say more!
"We need to receive the Temple Endowment." You are ALMOST THERE (I screamed at my iPhone as I listed while I drove!
She quoted M. Russel Ballard said: "When men and women go to the Temple, they are endowed with the same power. This, by definition, is Priesthood Power. The endowment is literally a gift of power." THAT'S IT!!! That's what I have been waiting for!
We have been telling Beya for weeks now that while she sees men officiating in the Priesthood outside of the Temple, BOTH genders officiate in the Priesthood inside the Temple. We have been working to teach all the kids the difference between the Priesthood Power, which is used by both Genders everywhere, and the officiating of the Priesthood, which is largely conducted by men outside of the Temple (and both Genders inside the Temple). I refused to give up on the idea that women don't hold the Priesthood. If they didn't, there would be no way for them to conduct the ordinances in the Temple (initiatories) and to pass along the sacred information in the Temple during the Endowment if they didn't possess the necessary Priesthood to officiate in the ordinance. Sister Stephens confirmed, out loud, in General Conference, that men AND women are BOTH endowed with the SAME Priesthood Power in the Endowment.
I was thrilled with General Conference today, thinking that it is amazing how "current" and "relevant" the topics are. It is clear the General Authorities are aware and listening to what people are struggling with in the Church, especially Gender Issues.
But, Saturday night Priesthood was the WORST Priesthood Session I have ever watched. It was flat, boring, didn't contain a rallying call (OK, there was a "Do your hometeaching" talk...but it wasn't the same. It left me severely lacking. Then, I found out that a large number of women got in line tonight for the Session to watch from the Conference Center. After 200 years, they broadcast Priesthood live via BYU TV and online at LDS.ORG and the SAME DAY, right after the Church made it available for anyone to watch, live, there are women who want to go that night.
I'm sorry, I am a feminist, I REALLY AM (just ask my wife). But having women at "Priesthood Meeting" is like watching a sex scene with your wife AND Mom there...really hard to enjoy. And maybe women are saying they totally agree and I shouldn't be watching that period and that's the problem with Priesthood. It's like giving birth to a Child and having your neighbor from 5 doors down that you don't know pop by just to see what it looks like down there because they haven't had kids yet. It's not that having people at these times is bad or good. But, for certain events, like Marriages, Funerals, Graduation, etc...there is always an "intended" audience for the event. Having the guy who failed and will be back next year for 12th grade again...it's uncomfortable for everyone.
If you are speaking in "Priesthood Session", do you talk to both Genders because they are both watching? Well then, what's the point of having a separate Relief Society Session and Priesthood. I LIKE that we each get talked to from "our leaders" on gender specific issues. I think it's helpful! I WANT to be a better husband, and I want to hear how to do it from a good husband. Same with someone who's a successful business person who wants to tell me how to be good at my job. Same with home teaching, being a father, etc.
Heck, it'd be nice to have someone in the Relief Society Presidency or Primary Presidency, or Young Woman's Presidency come to Priesthood to tell me how to be a good husband, father, or Dad to a teenage daughter. PLEASE COME AND TELL ME!!!
But having just one more session of general conference with everyone there...it ruins it. It's not the same. It may be tradition, but it's helpful to get gender and role specific instruction. It's available for everyone to watch online...heck, most of the men will probably watch it online now. But why do women have to BE there? I don't see what is gained? I don't see why "crashing the party" moves the cause of equality forward. Please help. I'm sad. I'm bummed. Priesthood sucked and I could have used a good "pep talk" tonight. Maybe we should rebrand it and call it something else. It's been Priesthood and Relief Society for over 100 years...it can change, no problem.
But I do find a lot of value into "splitting up" for the 3rd hour. I think both genders need it and I hope we keep it.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Follow the Rules and Work Like Hell
I hate Disney (DIS). All right, that is actually a complete lie; but I'll tell you why I would say such a thing. I was speaking with someone the other day and they were laying out for me their ill fated life and all that is going wrong therin. Then, they stopped and commented how they wanted the wife, and the house, and the kids, and the job, and the fairy tail ending.
My advice, which was completely unappreciated, as I found out when the conversation ended abruptly shortly thereafter, was simple: go to work. I was then told that a job had already been obtained and that work had commenced. I told my conversation partner to work more, work all the time. If the current job didn't afford 15-18 hours a day of work, then go get more work. I then said work, work, work, work, & work. At which point I was told, not so politely, how this person felt and the conversation was over. And I have known this person for over 20 years!
THIS is why I hate Disney. People grow up watching fairy tales, thinking that by the time they hit adulthood that their "happy ever after can begin". Is it just me or does everyone forget that Rapunzle was locked up for decades in a tower? What about Simba watching his Uncle kill his Father and then being chased off by Hyena's and living in squalor (at least compared with being King) for decades until he gets his act together and takes on his responsibilities? In the Princess and the Frog, she is heroine is a waitress her working life and gets turned into a frog and is wooed by a swindler until they both grow up and fall in love. People seem to equate the 1st hour of the movie to their youth and the magic should happen sometime in your twenties, and then it's smooth sailing from there.
The reality is that the part of the movie that we NEVER see is the years of work that got each character to the point where something "miraculous" can happen. Most professional comedians starve themselves, and their family (if they have one)before they ever make it big. They tell jokes at every hole in the wall in the world before they "get their break". All we ever see is when they break onto the "big stage", the "magical" moment. The reality is that life is flippin' hard, and you MUST do two things to succeed:
1) Follow the Rules
2) Work like Hell
You don't have to do them both all the time, but you MUST do one of them at ALL times. When you don't, and you give up on both...you are going to regret it.
What do I mean by the rules? Pick a religion, ANY religion, and live by it. Live it to a T. Now, (here's the hard sell coming), I think you should be a Latter-Day Saint (a Mormon if you like). After going to 17 different denominations over the coarse of 4 years, I proved to myself that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has THE best set of rules for anyone to follow. But, in the end, I'm not picky. You must have a belief system that can guide you through life's choices. Do you drink or not drink? Do you have sex with whomever you want or wait until marriage? Are you faithful to your spouse? Do you have children? Do you let those children eat while sitting on the table? Can they jump on the couch or the bed? How important is it to work? All of those questions are going to be determined by how you see the world, your Metaphysics. Your Metaphysics is developed as you live your life of faith and get answers to life's big questions: Why are we here? What did we do before we got here? What happens after we are no longer here? As you begin to answer those, you'll find answers to all of the other questions above.
The last one, "How do I view work?" is of supreme importance. You MUST work like hell. You must work all the time. We are either going forwards or going backwards. If you are not working, and not participating in wholesome entertainment (which is a lot of work these days to find something that isn't trashy), then you ARE going backwards. You must work to pay rent, eat food, buy clothes, fill your car with gas to get to work, heat/cool your dwelling, cell phone to talk/text/tweet, internet for your computer to talk to you relatives and friends that are far away. Then there is your education....DANG does that cost a lot. What about fun? Besides nature, and by that I mean simply looking at it or walking around, every other activity cost money biking, skiing, canoeing, running, basketball...none of it is free. The problem with money is that if you see it as the end in and of itself, rather than a means to getting back to Rule Number 1 (Follow the rules), you are going to have a hard time. Work is about improving yourself. Shooting free-throws makes you a better basketball player. Playing Wii Tennis gives you better hand-eye coordination. Reading books improves your vocabulary and understanding of the world around you. Reading helps you examine the human condition from other angles not your own (still kind of talking about Rule #`again).
The more work you do, the less time you have to make mistakes. Less free time means: less time wasted surfing social media, endless posts of things you could waste your money on with Craig's List, fewer levels to beat in your video game that will rob you of valuable time with those you love and care about. Less free time means fewer dollars spent on things you don't really need and more money you can give to charities you care about based on Rule #1. It means avoiding addictions like gambling, pornography, alcohol, drugs, tobacco, video games, and the countless other things this world attempts to tell you that you need through advertising. Work keeps you out of trouble and out of debt. Work keeps you focused on improvement. Work can take dozens of forms and isn't all "for pay".
Work is a means to an end as well, that end being money affords you time to spend on Rule #1, which is "following the rules". For what seems like all of time, the vast majority of philosophers are well to do...they are rich people. Those are the only ones who have enough money to get to spend time thinking about morality, how the world works, and whether or not G_d actually exists and what kind of being G_d is.
I've gone on and on about the benefits of Following the Rules and Working like Hell. What's the bottom line? When you see a terrific marriage, a happy family, and someone with a good job who enjoys their work; it's not because they woke up after 20 years with a kiss and it was handed to them. No one came to rescue them from a tower. People who enjoy life do so because they find a belief system and keep it and they work hard. Marriage is hard people, and it takes effort. I go days without seeing my kids because of the amount of work I do. When I asked Rachel (my wife) if I should find a way to be at home more, she told me she has everything handled and it's good for the kids to see my example of hard work. They treasure the time that they do get to spend with me and it means I can do things like offer advice and council because of how my kids see me. Rachel also works very hard to establish the rules for the kids. She gives them Rule #1 and I give them Rule #2. Rachel is also deep in the middle of writing a 7 book series and there is no shortage of work that she has to do. The kids are a constant witness of endless amounts of work that get done by both Mom and Dad. It's good for them to see that.
That's what bugs me about Disney. No one really wants to see a movie about the 1st 20 years of life, or 30, BEFORE the happy ending comes in 118 minutes. It's really not Disney's fault. Too many of us live in a microwave society where we imagine we can just ZAP whatever we want into existence. We want all the gain without any of the pain. Real life doesn't work that way. It's hard. It's really hard.
Life is beautiful and the beauty is in the journey of arriving, not in the end of the journey. Who waits until the credits roll to enjoy the film? Who gets to the end of the bowl of ice cream before you enjoy the taste? Who wants to wait until the music stops to dance? Don't, don't wait to dance...do it while the music is playing, even if you don't know the song. It doesn't matter if anyone is watching or not. Pick a partner you can work with, get married, and dance all night long. One day the music will stop and you want to be able to look back on all the fun you had dancing.
Oh, and I actually love Disney. The now own all the Marvel Super Heroes AND Star Wars. They are going to put a new Star Wars Movie out every year starting in 2015!!! That is going to make them rich and a lot of people very happy. So, when stocks sell off this summer, go by yourself or your kids lots of Disney stock, symbol DIS.
My advice, which was completely unappreciated, as I found out when the conversation ended abruptly shortly thereafter, was simple: go to work. I was then told that a job had already been obtained and that work had commenced. I told my conversation partner to work more, work all the time. If the current job didn't afford 15-18 hours a day of work, then go get more work. I then said work, work, work, work, & work. At which point I was told, not so politely, how this person felt and the conversation was over. And I have known this person for over 20 years!
THIS is why I hate Disney. People grow up watching fairy tales, thinking that by the time they hit adulthood that their "happy ever after can begin". Is it just me or does everyone forget that Rapunzle was locked up for decades in a tower? What about Simba watching his Uncle kill his Father and then being chased off by Hyena's and living in squalor (at least compared with being King) for decades until he gets his act together and takes on his responsibilities? In the Princess and the Frog, she is heroine is a waitress her working life and gets turned into a frog and is wooed by a swindler until they both grow up and fall in love. People seem to equate the 1st hour of the movie to their youth and the magic should happen sometime in your twenties, and then it's smooth sailing from there.
The reality is that the part of the movie that we NEVER see is the years of work that got each character to the point where something "miraculous" can happen. Most professional comedians starve themselves, and their family (if they have one)before they ever make it big. They tell jokes at every hole in the wall in the world before they "get their break". All we ever see is when they break onto the "big stage", the "magical" moment. The reality is that life is flippin' hard, and you MUST do two things to succeed:
1) Follow the Rules
2) Work like Hell
You don't have to do them both all the time, but you MUST do one of them at ALL times. When you don't, and you give up on both...you are going to regret it.
What do I mean by the rules? Pick a religion, ANY religion, and live by it. Live it to a T. Now, (here's the hard sell coming), I think you should be a Latter-Day Saint (a Mormon if you like). After going to 17 different denominations over the coarse of 4 years, I proved to myself that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has THE best set of rules for anyone to follow. But, in the end, I'm not picky. You must have a belief system that can guide you through life's choices. Do you drink or not drink? Do you have sex with whomever you want or wait until marriage? Are you faithful to your spouse? Do you have children? Do you let those children eat while sitting on the table? Can they jump on the couch or the bed? How important is it to work? All of those questions are going to be determined by how you see the world, your Metaphysics. Your Metaphysics is developed as you live your life of faith and get answers to life's big questions: Why are we here? What did we do before we got here? What happens after we are no longer here? As you begin to answer those, you'll find answers to all of the other questions above.
The last one, "How do I view work?" is of supreme importance. You MUST work like hell. You must work all the time. We are either going forwards or going backwards. If you are not working, and not participating in wholesome entertainment (which is a lot of work these days to find something that isn't trashy), then you ARE going backwards. You must work to pay rent, eat food, buy clothes, fill your car with gas to get to work, heat/cool your dwelling, cell phone to talk/text/tweet, internet for your computer to talk to you relatives and friends that are far away. Then there is your education....DANG does that cost a lot. What about fun? Besides nature, and by that I mean simply looking at it or walking around, every other activity cost money biking, skiing, canoeing, running, basketball...none of it is free. The problem with money is that if you see it as the end in and of itself, rather than a means to getting back to Rule Number 1 (Follow the rules), you are going to have a hard time. Work is about improving yourself. Shooting free-throws makes you a better basketball player. Playing Wii Tennis gives you better hand-eye coordination. Reading books improves your vocabulary and understanding of the world around you. Reading helps you examine the human condition from other angles not your own (still kind of talking about Rule #`again).
The more work you do, the less time you have to make mistakes. Less free time means: less time wasted surfing social media, endless posts of things you could waste your money on with Craig's List, fewer levels to beat in your video game that will rob you of valuable time with those you love and care about. Less free time means fewer dollars spent on things you don't really need and more money you can give to charities you care about based on Rule #1. It means avoiding addictions like gambling, pornography, alcohol, drugs, tobacco, video games, and the countless other things this world attempts to tell you that you need through advertising. Work keeps you out of trouble and out of debt. Work keeps you focused on improvement. Work can take dozens of forms and isn't all "for pay".
Work is a means to an end as well, that end being money affords you time to spend on Rule #1, which is "following the rules". For what seems like all of time, the vast majority of philosophers are well to do...they are rich people. Those are the only ones who have enough money to get to spend time thinking about morality, how the world works, and whether or not G_d actually exists and what kind of being G_d is.
I've gone on and on about the benefits of Following the Rules and Working like Hell. What's the bottom line? When you see a terrific marriage, a happy family, and someone with a good job who enjoys their work; it's not because they woke up after 20 years with a kiss and it was handed to them. No one came to rescue them from a tower. People who enjoy life do so because they find a belief system and keep it and they work hard. Marriage is hard people, and it takes effort. I go days without seeing my kids because of the amount of work I do. When I asked Rachel (my wife) if I should find a way to be at home more, she told me she has everything handled and it's good for the kids to see my example of hard work. They treasure the time that they do get to spend with me and it means I can do things like offer advice and council because of how my kids see me. Rachel also works very hard to establish the rules for the kids. She gives them Rule #1 and I give them Rule #2. Rachel is also deep in the middle of writing a 7 book series and there is no shortage of work that she has to do. The kids are a constant witness of endless amounts of work that get done by both Mom and Dad. It's good for them to see that.
That's what bugs me about Disney. No one really wants to see a movie about the 1st 20 years of life, or 30, BEFORE the happy ending comes in 118 minutes. It's really not Disney's fault. Too many of us live in a microwave society where we imagine we can just ZAP whatever we want into existence. We want all the gain without any of the pain. Real life doesn't work that way. It's hard. It's really hard.
Life is beautiful and the beauty is in the journey of arriving, not in the end of the journey. Who waits until the credits roll to enjoy the film? Who gets to the end of the bowl of ice cream before you enjoy the taste? Who wants to wait until the music stops to dance? Don't, don't wait to dance...do it while the music is playing, even if you don't know the song. It doesn't matter if anyone is watching or not. Pick a partner you can work with, get married, and dance all night long. One day the music will stop and you want to be able to look back on all the fun you had dancing.
Oh, and I actually love Disney. The now own all the Marvel Super Heroes AND Star Wars. They are going to put a new Star Wars Movie out every year starting in 2015!!! That is going to make them rich and a lot of people very happy. So, when stocks sell off this summer, go by yourself or your kids lots of Disney stock, symbol DIS.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)